The Star Spangled Bungle

I just watched the opening of Super Bowl forty-leven or whatever number it is (actually I think it's 45) and heard pop star Christina Aguilera (definitely a misspell) totally botch The Star Spangled Banner right there in front of billions of people.  This next week she'll be fodder for the Jay Leno's and David Letterman's of the world and anyone else with a microphone wanting to discuss the Super Bowl.  Now in her defense, our National Anthem is not one of the easiest songs to sing in the world.  Supposedly the tune is to that of an old English drinking song (I can believe that, somebody had to be about half lit to have come up with it the way it goes from low to high and back again like a john boat in a typhoon) and the tune alone has stumped more than one aspiring singer.  But the words...there's just something about those few opening phrases that'll get you every time when you're singing in front of the entire English-speaking segment of the world and your palms are sweaty.  I think once you get to the "and the rocket's red glare" part you're pretty much home free but when you're dog paddling in the murky waters of the "who's broad stripes and bright stars...." part you are either going to sink or swim depending on whether you've written the words on the palm of your hand or not.  Ole Christina should have written them in glitter or something because she wrecked her big chance and will now just be known as another Robert Goulet, who, not only did Elvis shoot at with a big ole gun when he saw him singing on TV one time (apparently Mr. Goulet and Elvis were not the best of friends) he too forgot the words to our National Anthem when he was singing at a football game.  Oh, and don't forget Roseanne Barr's despicable rendition either.  It's a shame she didn't just forget the words, walk off the field and do us all a favor.

Robert, Roseanne and Christina...not a club I'd be wanting to join...